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Some very good observations from the OP.
Long CVs go straight in the bin if I get them. Anything over 3 pages is pushing it.
Anything that lists "Windows" or "Unix" as a skill goes straight in the bin. They're not skills. If you can't expand on that, you basically mean "I have used this operating system". Who cares?
Anything that boasts - in the bin.
Anyone claiming to be an expert - gets an interview, and gets hauled over hot coals in it
Anybody that fails to appear human goes in the bin. I always put some sort of joke in my CV somewhere, and everyone that's ever employed me, and some interviewers, have said it was a positive factor. We're recruiting people, not sets of skills. Show you're a person
Lists of buzzwords go straight in the bin. Or they'll get a phone interview and given endless trick questions, for pure sport
I don't want a list of the APIs and tools you used on your last job, thankyouverymuch!
I saw a CV last week where the candidate spend 4 pages talking very in-depth about their last-but-one job. Who cares? In the bin
Something I'm seeing more and more of, and will be adopting soon myself, is writing a CV in the third person. It gives readers the subconscious impression that it is indeed someone else telling them how good the candidate is, even though readers know full well it isn't. Subtle and effective.
Something important to remember about recruitment: when sifting through CVs, we're looking for reasons NOT to employ you. In your first interview, we're looking for reasons to GIVE you the job. In the final interviews, we're looking again for reasons NOT to give you the job. Bear that in mind
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